A simpler way to think about networking
Networking has a branding problem.
For many professionals, the word brings to mind awkward events, forced conversations and the pressure to work the room. It feels unnatural, transactional and, for a lot of people, slightly uncomfortable.
So they avoid it.
But the truth is, networking is much simpler than people think.
It’s not a strategy. It’s not a personality trait. And it’s not reserved for extroverts.
It’s a series of small, repeated actions.
The real reason people struggle with networking
Most people don’t struggle with networking because they don’t know what to do. They struggle because they don’t do it.
They know they should reach out to people. Follow up after meetings. Stay in touch over time.
But they hesitate.
They overthink what to say. They worry about being annoying. They wait for the right moment or a better reason.
And that moment rarely comes.
Networking doesn’t fail because people don’t understand it. It fails because they avoid it.
This is where social courage comes in. Social courage is the willingness to act socially before you feel ready. And when you look at networking through that lens, it becomes much simpler.
Networking isn’t about being strategic. It’s about being willing.
What changed for me
I didn’t always think about networking this way.
Early in my career, I assumed it was about saying the right thing or meeting the right people. I thought there was some kind of formula I hadn’t learned yet.
So I avoided it.
What changed was repetition.
Apart from having lunch with 500 strangers, I cold-called thousands of potential clients and forced myself to start conversations at networking events.
What I realised was simple.
Networking didn’t become easier because I learned more. It became easier because I did it more.
It wasn’t strategy that changed things – it was action.
A simpler way to think about networking
If you strip away the complexity, networking comes down to three behaviours.
I think of it as The Networking Loop.
1. Start conversations
This is the part most people avoid.
Reaching out to someone you don’t know. Sending a message. Walking up to someone at an event.
Starting a conversation without a perfect reason feels uncomfortable, so people delay it.
But without this step, nothing else happens.
2. Follow up
This is where most networking breaks down.
People have a good conversation, exchange details and then … nothing.
No message. No check-in. No continuation.
But relationships aren’t built in a single interaction. They’re built over time.
A simple follow-up message is often the difference between a forgotten encounter and the start of a relationship.
3. Stay in touch
This is where the real value comes from.
This is where the real value comes from.Checking in occasionally. Sharing something useful. Reaching out without an agenda.
Not frequently. Not forcefully. Just consistently. Because over time, familiarity builds trust. And trust creates opportunity.
That’s it. That’s all networking is.
Not clever tactics. Not perfect timing. Not memorised scripts. Just three behaviours, repeated over time.Why this feels harder than it should
If networking is this simple, why do so many people struggle with it?
Because each step requires social courage.
- Starting a conversation means risking awkwardness.
- Following up means risking being ignored.
- Staying in touch means risking feeling like a nuisance.
So people default to inaction. Not because they don’t understand networking, but because they’re trying to avoid discomfort.
What this looks like in practice
You don’t need to overhaul your personality or become highly extroverted.
You just need to take small, consistent actions.
- Message someone you met last month.
- Follow up after a conversation that went nowhere.
- Check in with an old colleague.
- Introduce two people who would benefit from meeting.
These are not big moves. Rather, they’re small acts of social courage – and they compound.
Over time, they lead to stronger relationships, greater visibility and more opportunities.
Not because you engineered them. But because you showed up.
Final thought
Networking isn’t complicated. It’s just uncomfortable.
The people who are willing to do it consistently are the ones who benefit from it.
The problem is, we’ve made networking sound more complex than it really is. We’ve turned it into something strategic, performative and unnatural.
But when you strip that away, what’s left is much simpler.
Starting conversations. Following up. Staying in touch.
That’s The Networking Loop.
And it’s probably not as complicated as you thought.
